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Couples Therapist: Is Your Personality Type Healthy for Your Relationship?

Personality traits vary person-to-person; they are what make individuals unique and different. However, certain characteristics can actually determine an individual’s quality of life. Other traits may also negatively impact your relationships. Researchers at the University of California, Davis have discovered that there are specific traits that characterize a psychologically healthy individual. This inquiry is derived from decades of scientific research on personality types. To test this theory, researchers used a contemporary trait perspective to determine that a healthy personality can be described in terms of the 30 facets of the “big five” model of personality traits. Keep reading to learn more about these personality types and how a couples therapist may be able to help.

The “Big Five” Model

Also known as the Five-Factor Model, this model organizes personality into five major factors:

  • Openness: practical vs. imaginative and spontaneous
  • Conscientiousness: impulsive and disorganized vs. disciplined and careful
  • Extraversion or extroversion: reserved and thoughtful vs. sociable and fun-loving
  • Agreeableness: suspicious and uncooperative vs. trusting and helpful
  • Neuroticism: calm and confident vs. anxious and pessimistic 

These factors are usually referred to by the acronyms CANOE or OCEAN. Understanding these traits and what your score is for each one can provide insight into your own personality. This can help you understand yourself and others better.

What is a healthy personality?
Researchers found that many agreed that a healthy personality consists of low neuroticism along with high levels of openness to feelings, warmth, positive emotions, and agreeable straightforwardness.

Lead author of the study, Dr. Wiebke Bliedorn, explains the study’s purpose:  “…providing a comprehensive description of a psychologically healthy individual in terms of basic traits, the profile generated and tested provides a practical assessment tool for research on health personality functioning.”

Methodologically, the purpose of the research was to address the healthy personality question by generating an expert-consensus model of a healthy individual. Investigators accomplished this by surveying hundreds of professional personality psychologists along with hundreds of college students from Texas and Michigan.

They found a striking agreement among all of these groups in regard to what a healthy personality entails.

“People in general, no matter whether they are experts or not, seem to have quite a clear idea of what a healthy personality looks like,” Bleidorn said.

Can personality traits predict life outcomes?

There is also a large body of research showing that the big five traits predict life outcomes such as health, self-esteem, academic performance, marital quality, and work performance.

Using the big five as the framework, the researchers first attempted to generate a basic trait profile of a prototypical healthy individual. In a second step, they used data from seven independent samples of over 3,000 participants to test whether the generated healthy profile can be used to assess healthy personality functioning at the individual level.

To do this, they computed a healthy personality index for each participant that indicated how similar their own individual personality profile matched the expert-generated profile for the healthy personality.

As predicted, individuals with healthy personality profiles tended to be better adjusted, indicated by higher self-esteem, self-concept clarity, and optimism. Individuals with healthy personality scores were also more likely to describe themselves as being able to resist impulses, regulate their behavior, and focus their attention. They also described themselves as being low in aggression and antisocial behavior.

The associations with measures of narcissism and psychopathy yielded a more complex picture, however.

Specifically, people with healthy personalities tended to score lower in the maladaptive aspects of narcissism such as exploitativeness but relatively higher in the potentially adaptive aspects of grandiosity and self-sufficiency.

In a similar vein, people with healthier personalities scored low on the maladaptive facets of psychopathy measures such as blame externalization or disinhibition but relatively higher on the more adaptive facets of these scales such as stress immunity or boldness.

Researchers believe that overall, these results provide initial evidence for the outcomes of having a healthy personality index.

Better understand your personality with help from a couples therapist in Newport Beach, CA

Understanding how we score on the Big Five can tell us a lot about ourselves and how we relate to others. It can also help you in your relationships by helping you and your partner better relate to each other.

Jennifer De Francisco, MPA, MSW, LCSW, is a couples therapist in Newport Beach, CA, for couples at any stage in their relationship. Her approach provides a safe environment to openly and honestly share thoughts and emotions. Through developing a positive, therapeutic relationship, you and your partner can interpret what is going on, both in your life and in the session, creating a better awareness within your relationship. Contact Jennifer De Francisco by calling (949) 251-8797 or make an appointment online.

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Chris B.5.0
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Kids are always hard and as a parent it's not always easy to see objectively what is really going on. Jennifer helped me talk through challenges/issues with my oldest son that were running through my head. In the end she provided me a solid perspective to build on and because of that I have been able to manage the situation much better. Easy conversation and very helpful.
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Jennifer is such a wonderful and genuine therapist. She is extremely kind and understanding. She comprehends couple and mental health problems precisely. I would definitely recommend her to anyone that is seeking help.
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Jennifer is such a wonderful and genuine therapist. She is extremely kind and understanding. She comprehends couple and mental health problems precisely. I would definitely recommend her to anyone that is seeking help.
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I have been seeing Jennifer De Francisco for about a year, and she has helped me so much with the unhappiness I thought would never go away. Jennifer’s compassion and empathy made me feel safe enough to open up and talk about the uncomfortable feelings I didn’t even know were causing my sadness. With Jennifer’s help, I am now aware of my negative thoughts. Instead of avoiding them, I can work through them. She has helped change my life.
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It was tough when we first started with Jennifer , but through difficult conversations and understanding some of the causes of how closed off we were to each other, we worked through it and are in a good place. The idea that we could break up is the furthest thing from my mind now, and going in to work on our relationship was the best thing to do. One of the things that really helped was that I felt Jennifer really cared that our relationship worked and that we improved things between us. I think that is rare, and always helped me not give up hope.
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I know people hate to hear this, but relationships take work, especially with kids and stress. I would suggest relationship counseling for any married couple, even if it were just monthly or when things get tough. We continue to see Jennifer after our initial problem because it keeps us on track. Best of luck to all couples looking for help- Jennifer is a wonderful resource.